Just some cool, funny and sometimes smart quotes

"We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse."

"Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else."

"I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing!"

"Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive."

"Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now."

"I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it."

"A little work, a little sleep, a little love and it is all over."

"Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear."

"We've got what it takes to take what you've got!"

"Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot."

"I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar."

"640K ought to be enough for anybody. - Bill Gates 81"

"All generalizations are false, including this one."

"There's too much blood in my caffeine system."

"Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity."

"Change is inevitable....except from a vending machine."

"Double your drive space - delete Windows!"

"What is a free gift ? Aren't all gifts free?"

"90% of all statistics are made up"

"Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs."

"A pedestrian hit me and went under my car."

"Okay, who put a stop payment on my reality check?"

"Oops. My brain just hit a bad sector."

"I used to have a handle on life, then it broke."

"Daddy, why doesn't this magnet pick up this floppy disk?"

"Careful. We don't want to learn from this."

"Energizer Bunny Arrested! Charged with battery."